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Home > Fundamental Concepts > Understanding Children/Redirecting Misbehavior/Fostering Contributions > Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child

Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child

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NOTE: Page numbers enclosed in parentheses are citations from The Individual  Psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings. (H. L. and R. R. Ansbacher, Eds.).© 1964. Harper & Row, Publishers,  Inc. Used by permission of Perseus Books Group.

Adler considered each individual as if he or she were in movement from an intolerable feeling of minus toward a desired feeling of plus, with a personally-created goal of success concretized in an image of status or condition that would conquer the inferiority feeling. Dreikurs saw that among children these goals could be seen as reflecting the desire to have a distinctive and recognized place of belonging amongst others. He also saw that discouraged children, who regard themselves as unable to accomplish such a goal on the socially useful side of life, through cooperation and contribution, do not surrender the struggle, but are more likely than the others to develop erroneous images of success, and to choose mistaken goals in pursuit of such images. 

Dreikurs (1964) posited four such mistaken goals of the discouraged child in a schema which has proven to be of immense help to teachers, counselors, and others concerned with the education and welfare of children and their development. These mistaken goals are (a) attention ( annoying or disruptive behavior that says, "I may not be much, but I will not be ignored."); (b) power (angry, insistent, often in progression from the efforts of others to stop the attention-getting antics); ( c) revenge (bitter, hurtful words and actions, often in response to the harsh punishments of retaliatory power, and expressing the unhappy conviction of a child who believes he is not loved or is not lovable); ( d) the display of inadequacy (reflecting a despair of doing anything that will be successful or appreciated). Dreikurs also systematized techniques for recognizing a child's mistaken goal, precise methods for disclosing the mistaken goal to the child without punishing or shaming, opening the eyes of parents to recognize the meaning and desire for significance in the mistaken goals of misbehavior, and encouraging children to consider openings to useful participation and contribution. [See Adolescence.] 

See Grunwald, B. B. & McAbee, H. V. (1999); Walton, F. X. & Powers, R. L. (1974).

 

© Griffith, J., & Powers, R. L. (2007).  The Lexicon of Adlerian Psychology:  106 terms Associated with the Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler (2nd ed.). Port Townsend, WA: Adlerian Psychology Associates (p. 69).

Definitions of concepts are used by permission of Jane Griffith. A comprehensive list of concepts and definitions can be found in The Lexicon of Adlerian Psychology: 106 Terms Associated with the Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler by Jane Griffith and Robert L. Powers, available for purchase on Amazon.com. 

References 

Dreikurs, R. (with Soltz, V.). (1964). Children: The Challenge. New York: Hawthorn.

Grunwald, B. B., & McAbee, H. V. (1999). Guiding the family: Practical counseling solutions

(2nd ed.). Philadelphia: Accelerated Development.

Walton, F. X., & Powers, R. L. (1974). Winning children over. Columbia, SC: Adlerian Child Care Books.


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Resources

Adlerian Psychotherapy with Disturbed Children by Eleanore Redwin, Individual Psychologist v.3 #1 (1965)
This article describes Adlerian therapy with children, understanding mistaken goals, treating the "mother-child unit


Added By: CMonn
Areas of Focus: Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child, Understanding Children/Redirecting Misbehavior/Fostering Contributions, Adlerian Counseling/Psychotherapy
Resource Type: Article
Adlerian Psychotherapy with Disturbed Children
Direct Link to this Resource

Video: Mistaken Goals (From the Positive Discipline Online Parenting Class)
Behavior actually is a coded message that reveals a child's underlying beliefs about himself and about life. When your child misbehaves, he is telling you in the only way he knows that (at least for the moment) he is feeling discouraged, or that he doesn't belong. As you learn to decipher the code, you will find that your responses (and eventually, your child's behavior) will change.


Added By: Admin
Areas of Focus: Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child, Jane Nelsen, Positive Discipline for Parents, Education
Resource Type: Video
Direct Link to this Resource

Mistaken Goals Chart
One page handout with chart of Mistaken Goals with empowering pro-active responses for teachers/parents


Added By: Admin
Areas of Focus: Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child, Positive Discipline for Parents, Education
Resource Type: Reproducible Materials/Handouts
Mistaken Goal Chart
Direct Link to this Resource

Tabla de las metas equivocadas (Spanish Mistaken Goals Chart)
Chart detailing the 4 goals of Misbehavior


Added By: Admin
Areas of Focus: Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child, Education, Positive Discipline for Parents
Resource Type: Reproducible Materials/Handouts
Spanish Mistaken Goals Chart
Direct Link to this Resource

Adlerian Consultation Hour with Dr. Jay Colker (03-30-2017)
During this consultation hour, Dr. Colker discusses a case, "The Hostile Teenager," by Ray Corsini with a group of students.

During this consultation hour, Dr. Colker discusses a case, "The Hostile Teenager," by Dr. Ray Corsini with a group of students. A line-by-line approach to interpretation is taken to understand the case. Focus is placed on understanding the effects of a pampered child. The use of consequences is also discussed.

Time length: 41:33


Added By: Admin
Areas of Focus: Raymond "Ray" J. Corsini, Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child, Natural or Logical Consequences, Parenting/Parent Training, Case Conceptualizatons, Jay Colker
Resource Type: Video
Direct Link to this Resource

Dealing Effectively With Children's Mistaken Goals
Text from adlerian.us

Dealing Effectively With Children's Mistaken Goals


Added By: Admin
Areas of Focus: Four Mistaken Goals of Children, Mistaken Goals of the Discouraged Child
Resource Type: Website Link
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