A question is posed about the most important ingredient of a lasting relationship
Dear Drs. Adler and Dreikurs,
With Valentines Day approaching, I’ve been thinking more about love and relationships. What do you see as the most important ingredient of a lasting relationship?
Answer:
Did you know that Valentines Day is the loneliest day of the year? When you don’t receive a Valentine it highlights your loneliness. It is also the day that most people who are having affairs get caught as they are forced to give both partner prime time!
Anyway, to answer your question, it is probably persistence or commitment for a strictly “lasting” relationship. However, the most important ingredient for having a lasting and satisfying relationship is “giving”. Love is the wish to make another happy. Focus on being a good partner not on pointing out your partner’s failings and shortcomings. You will be surprised when you again learn that, “It is through giving we receive!
Adlerians by nature are optimistic and encouraging. We focus on strengths and building on what is positive. We do this without expecting anything in return. This is one important facet of social interest.