Dear Drs. Adler and Dreikurs,

I'm currently providing psychological services at a college counseling center. It's a great opportunity because I get to work with students from diverse backgrounds who present with a wide range of clinical concerns. However, students are limited to eight sessions, and I often have difficulty working within a brief therapy framework. Do you have any recommendations or strategies for using an Adlerian therapy approach within this brief therapy context?

Answer:

I have long stated that the chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. The same is true with psychotherapy. Adlerian psychology has always been a brief therapy. My early cases were often completed in 25-30 sessions compared to the other psychotherapy approaches that were “forever” approaches where clients seldom completed treatment while alive. 

The therapy climate today, of course, is much different and brief therapy is a necessity. My currently practicing Adlerian colleagues Jon Carlson and Len Sperry have written a book on Brief Therapy with Individuals & Couples that highlights how Adlerians' ideas are as effective, if not even more effective, than the other approaches being used today. Look up the work of Carlson, Sperry, and other contemporary Adlerians who have modified the traditional Adlerian components to be utilized in a brief fashion. Use mini-lifesyles, the Basis-A and other clever modifications to help you gain the essence of each of your clients and help them use the many time-tested Adlerian techniques.

 

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Dear Drs. Adler and Dreikurs,

I'm currently working with couples in therapy. While the details of their presenting problems vary, all of the couples have expressed a sense of discouragement and disconnection. Do you have any suggestions for how to encourage couples to reconnect on an intimate and emotional level?

Answer:

Researchers indicate that couples need a ratio of four positive interactions to one negative in terms of communications. Some couples approach this with the "Golden Rule" that is practiced by most religions. This rule states that it is important to love or treat people the way we want to be treated.  However, this doesn’t necessarily lead to meaningful positive interactions within the couple dyad.

Adlerian therapists have been well-trained in the power of encouragement with couples and they understand why the "Golden Rule” doesn’t work. Adlerians practice the “Platinum Rule” which can be very different; it is to treat your partner the way they way want to be treated not the way you want to be treated. Too many partners waste energy giving their partners what they want and wonder why it doesn’t produce positive results. You may love surprises but your partner is put off by them, or they might like to be waited on and served and yet you value self-sufficiency and taking care of yourself etc. In therapy you can help the couple see that many partners are disconnected and discouraged not because their partner doesn’t love them or care for them, but rather their partner is doing it in the wrong way.

Jane Griffith's Addition:

To encourage couples, remind the couple what brought them together in the first place by asking each member of the couple for the ER of their first meeting. Ask how this person stood out, was different from others they'd met. Ask the other member to listen to the recitation without interrupting. (Don't be surprised if they recount different incidents.)

Purpose: The first ER reveals the basic (unspoken) agreement or “contract” between them: for example, she's to be fun, light, entertaining; he's to be serious, solid, someone to be counted on. Eliciting the first ER of the relationship reminds them why they got together in the first place and the expectations each set for the other at that time. Then comes a disruption (presence of a child? lust affair? job loss? etc., etc.), the original “contract”/expectations break down, and the couple is adrift. 

If the couple is in earnest about staying together, the reminder of the first ER is encouraging in itself -- usually bringing relief and laughter into the session. More important, the couple can see clearly that the old (hidden) “contract”/expectations are no longer relevant, and that they have to create/formulate a new "contract" more suitable to their present situation in life.

-Jane Griffith

 

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Dear Drs. Adler and Dreikurs,

With Valentines Day approaching, I've been thinking more about love and relationships. What do you see as the most important ingredient of a lasting relationship?

Answer:

Did you know that Valentines Day is the loneliest day of the year? When you don’t receive a Valentine it highlights your loneliness. It is also the day that most people who are having affairs get caught as they are forced to give both partner prime time!

Anyway, to answer your question, it is probably persistence or commitment for a strictly “lasting” relationship. However, the most important ingredient for having a lasting and satisfying relationship is “giving”. Love is the wish to make another happy. Focus on being a good partner not on pointing out your partner’s failings and shortcomings. You will be surprised when you again learn that, “It is through giving we receive!

Adlerians by nature are optimistic and encouraging. We focus on strengths and building on what is positive. We do this without expecting anything in return. This is one important facet of social interest. 

 

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Dear Dr. Adler,

I consider myself Adlerian, but sometimes have difficulty explaining the theory concisely in interviews with training directors who are unfamiliar with Individual Psychology. How would you approach explaining Adlerian theory to interviewers who identify with different theoretical orientations?

Answer:

When students are talking about Adler to training directors and other non-Adlerian professionals, use some of the following information.

Adlerian psychotherapy has existed for over a century. Most modern forms of psychotherapy are neo-Adlerian and come from Adler’s ideas and not from Freud. Adler’s approach is a positive bio-psycho-social model that is probably most similar to CBT but really goes beyond CBT. The Adlerian approach is one that helps clients resolve their problems by working with their thinking, behavior, feelings, and context (or system). It is through this comprehensive approach that the Adlerian model goes beyond CBT. Adlerians use encouragement and focus upon the clients’ strengths to help them feel better about themselves, increase their hope of bettering their life situations, and wanting to continue in treatment. My training in Adlerian psychology helps me to work as an authentic chameleon in that I am able to change my approach to match what the client needs. I can work with disturbed thinking, systemic (couple, family or workplace) issues, all aspects of emotional issues, or simple behavioral change. As you can tell, most therapists are actually Adlerian with the only question being just how Adlerian. When they are 100% Adlerian like me they can be effective in all situations.

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Dear Drs. Adler and Dreikurs,

Have Adlerian scholars developed a comprehensive theory of development, or guidelines for clinical practice related to development? For example, do Adlerians have a formal theory that is similar to Freud's psychosexual stages of development or Piaget's stages of cognitive development?

Answer:

There are several Adlerian scholars who have written specifically on the topic of child (Dinkmeyer, 1965) and adolescent (Manaster, 1989) development. These authors, as well as other Adlerian scholars and practitioners, ascribe to idiographic principles of development, rather than nomothetic laws. They rely on well established theories of human development as the framework to understand the realm of age appropriate functional behavior. However, within this framework, Adlerians treat all children as capable and responsible. The importance of this approach in fostering development is summarized by Goethe: "If we treat people as if they were what they ought to be we will help them to become what they are capable of being." From an Adlerian perspective it is more important to understand the unique context of the child when conceptualizing development, rather then rely on specific stages or tasks in development.

References

Manaster, G. (1989). Adolescent development: A psychological interpretation. Itasca, IL: F.E. Peacock.

Dinkmeyer, D. C. (1965). Child development: The emerging self. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

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